Joy Rebounded

It's been so long since the last time that I wrote. I really didn't have too much to say, nor did I really need to write. Oh how the tides change. Now, if I don't write, i am sure to spontaneously combust. So here I go... not knowing where I'll end up.

This weekend marks the day that everyone around the country goes out the the stores, picks a card and gives it to their one true love... as an expression of their undying admiration for them. I never thought of myself as a lover of the love holiday, but I would go and pick out a lovely card and usually a small token of my affections and present them to my dear husband. More often than not, my efforts were not returned. This didn't necessarily bother me, as I do not do these things for a gift in return. But, knowing the eventual outcome, I have decided that my joy has been stolen. My childlike joy of the excitement of holidays and looking forward to a day that is out of the ordinary is gone. It's a day to celebrate something. It's a day to celebrate love. It's a day that the calendar people deem important enough to mark it on their product every year. OK, so maybe it's a day that Hallmark and the conversation heart people probably made up to build their profits, but I'm one who is buying into it. I want a day filled with red and pink. A day of paper hearts and cheesy valentines. A day where the people who love me tell me they love me. I love having a childlike JOY about this marketing ploy... but my joy has slowly been sucked out of me.

Perhaps it's been the past valentines' days of a card bought that day. Or a birthday that isn't seen as a special day. Or an anniversary that just goes by like a normal Tuesday.

But, I had a break through today. I wasn't going to go out of my way to do anything for this valentine's day, Why should I? He won't care. (This is what I thought). BUT, I decided to show my husband how much I love him even though he "wouldn't care".

Money is tight around this house... again. So I knew that going out and buying something would definitely get a grimace from the object of my heart's desire. So, I made him a card... with my own two hands. And on the inside, I wrote the lyrics to a song that was sung at our wedding. It turned out rather well, if I do say so myself. In addition to my masterpiece (which I should forward to Hallmark, just in case they were running out of ideas), I had downloaded the new album from one of his favorite groups onto my itunes and then burned it for him. No money spent. I used a gift card I had received for Christmas to but the download. I thought, "It's so little...", but I was pleased with my heart felt handmade Valentine's Day gift. Well, I gave it to him tonight. Tonight was our date night and I wasn't sure if he'd be around on Sunday with the possibility of work looming overhead. So I gave it to him. Holding my breath.

Well, he opened it. He read it. And looked at the CDs. And then he spoke.

What he said isn't really important. But to me, it was worth all the cards that Hallmark can make. He reassured my heart that he loves me and even though it's not often reciprocated, my efforts are appreciated.

My joy has returned.