frayed edges

life has been so crazy lately. and if i'm gong to be honest, i'm completely burned out. completely. i don't want to be whiney or complain too much, but i'm so exhausted from trying to be everything to everybody that i've complete forgotten about myself. and really? i don't have the time or energy to put into anything more.

this week i've been preparing for my sister-in-law's baby shower which is being held this weekend. i'm pulling together final details, making sure every little thing is perfect {or as close to perfect as i can get it} and wrapping up loose ends. we {my mom, maya, ethan and landon} will be leaving friday after school to make our way to scranton. i'm not someone who is comfortable in front of people who i don't know {i'm barely comfortable in front of people who i do know}, so my nerves are starting. i'm sure everything will be fine.

it has to be.

after this weekend, i really just want to take some time for myself and pickup all pieces of my self and try to reassemble them back into a productive jaimie. i'm just so tired. and i'm so concerned that i'm letting someone down if i don't continue with this pace. but i've been here before. i don't want to be there again. it's not pretty.

i just want to crawl in a hole and just be... and sleep.