it seems like yesterday

Do you recognize these kids?

I was going through my file of photos and came across these gems. It feels as though a lifetime has gone by since these were taken, but yet, it feels just like yesterday that these two were little {like in these pictures}. By the looks of them, I think these were taken when Maya was about 4 or early 5, so Ethan would have been 2 or 3... 5 or 6 years ago... oh my.

Time flies... I want it to slow down a bit. Or maybe I'M the one who needs to slow down a bit and enjoy my babies.

Aren't they so stinkin' cute?

my happiness

i'm tying to get happy right now. so, i thought i'd bring you my list of ''happiness".

{1} a good night's sleep.

this certainly does not happen a lot around this house {at least not since the birth of baby #1 ten years ago}. but when it does? it's so sweet. and waking up with my husband is an added bonus. that happens even less than the good night's sleep.

{2} making someone smile

... do i have to elaborate?

{3} a clean house.

having a clean house has a therapeutic effect on my brain. my mental health is sometimes determined by the amount of junk left all over my house, the number of dust bunnies running amuck and the depth of the laundry piled in baskets.

{4} hearing my kids laugh.

have you met my kids? if you have, you understand. if you haven't, you are truly missing out!

{5} my husband telling me i'm beautiful and kissing me.

he still gives me butterflies.

{6} spending time talking with good friends.

my favorite times are being one on one with a friend talking about life, love and sharing stories, thoughts, and convictions. i've never been one for large groups of people, but if you get me with a great friend (male or female), i could sit there for hours.

{7} a really super duper thick chocolate shake.

it's pure happiness you can {barely} suck through a straw. yum.

{8} spring breezes.

i love the smell of spring. i really don't think there is anything more energizing to me then the smell of a beautiful spring morning.

{9} a cardigan and a pair of ballet flats.

i adore cardigans... a little too much, sometimes. and i really adore a cute pair of ballet flats. they are classic, pretty and very girlie.

{10} driving a jeep.

recently, i was able to drive a jeep around the block. it was so quick, but in that time, my head was able to be cleared and i just was able to relax and just be. my husband loves to ride motorcycles for that reason. Until I drove that jeep, I didn't completely understand the feeling of freedom, time to think and time to just be. i had a jeep once upon a time... and i'm waiting for the day when i have one again and i'm able to escape for a few moments.

some clarity

This past week, I spent my days at one of my favorite places on Earth... Harvey Cedars Bible Conference in Harvey Cedars, NJ. I went with the intention of loving on my girls, spending time with them and getting to know the rest of our group a little bit better. I did all of those things... plus a little more.

I went into this week knowing that God was about to do some amazing stuff in the lives of these teenagers. I knew that He would touch their hearts and speak to them in a real way. I wasn't wrong. But what I didn't realize was that he was going to do the same thing for me. I didn't realize that I would leave HCBC changed. I didn't realize the extent in which I devalued myself.

But you know what? He changed my heart. He changed my thinking. He rocked my world so that it was inline with HIS world.

Last night our group went to a secluded part of Long Beach Island. To say that it was beautiful would be a complete understatement. This place that we visited was a completely different world. It was a place for clarity of thought. It was magical.

It was at this section of beach where I realized that the beauty that God created trickled down from the heavens and stars, to the ocean and waves, to the marine life and sandy beaches, to the people who walked the shores. He created all these things beautifully. I'm included in that!

I didn't think much of myself. I'm not the brightest. I'm not tall and thin. I'm not beautiful. I don't have a lot to offer. But God created me in HIS image. In scripture, it says that Jesus was not anything great to look at {paraphrased of course}. He wasn't a handsome man. But really? My Jesus is the most beautiful person that I know. And I'm created to be just like him! How can I not think more of myself when I'm created to be just like the most beautiful person who has ever walked this earth?

I have people in my life who insist on tearing me down. There are people who think they know me and who think that I'm not good enough for whatever it is. But the truth? I am good

enough.

And I'm not what they think I am. But instead, I'm what God says I am.

fingerprints of God

Do you know my children? If you don't, you are truly missing out on some of God's best creations.

My kids are home for the summer. My initial reaction to this situation is... YIKES! And, my initial reaction has held true for the first 3 days of vacation. Even as I look at them with frustration and sometimes anger, I can't help but admire God's handiwork in each of them. My kids are so unique, and they are all mine. They are so different, yet, I can see how their characteristics intertwine.

When I imagined my life in the future (before marriage and before kids) I always wanted 3 children. I think it stemmed from being in a family with 2 kids. I had one brother and although I love(d) him very much, I always secretly wanted another sibling. So, as I was imagining my life with children I always saw 3 children... 2 girls, 1 boy all with brown hair and probably brown eyes... after meeting my husband, I hoped for his light eyes to be passed to my kids... he has gorgeous eyes!

Anyway, as always, my plan wasn't God's plan. I was blessed with my 3 children, but not the ones I dreamed about... instead we have one girl (brown hair, brown eyes) and 2 boys (red hair and brown eyes, and blondish hair with blue eyes). I don't think at first glance my kids look alike... at all. But if you look close, you can see some similarities. You can see that they have the same nose. Two have the same shape of eye. A different two have the same eyebrow.

For a little while, I was almost disappointed that my children didn't obviously resemble each other. I know families who have 3 and four children and they are all clones of each other. But you know what? I've come to realize that it's much cooler to have to look for the similarities. And when I found them? I saw pieces of myself and pieces of my husband in each of them. I saw characteristics of both of us that had been mushed together to make these gorgeous children. Even as they grow up, mature and become these independent beings, I see traits of us in them... there is nothing better than that.

My daugher, Maya, is an independent old soul. When she was born, she had a distinct purple mark on the right side of her nose. I always said it was God's fingerprint. If you look closely, you can still see it, although it has faded over the last 10 years.

Maya is a compassionate, loving, sentimental, sensitive and adventurous little girl. She was climbing giant climbing walls at the age of 5. She rides horses competitively. She cares for animals, bugs, and children all the same. She is beautiful!

Ethan is a silly, fun loving, brilliant little boy. He has red hair and freckles... and he loves his freckles. He loves sports, will try most sports, and when he becomes passionate about a subject you better watch it. It consumes his every thought. He is amazing!

Landon is a completely different animal from the older two. He is inquisitive, energetic, and daring without fear. His latest feat included climbing on top of the bar stool to climb on top of the kitchen island. The boy will go anywhere... but on his terms. He is delightful!

Our kids each have their own personality, interests, passions, quirks. It's in those qualities that I can see God's fingerprints all over them. I can see how he molded each of them and I realize that he formed Maya's compassionate heart and stamped his fingerprint on her nose, placed every freckle on Ethan's face and hand painted Landon's beautiful blue eyes.

This song by Steven Curtis Chapman is one of my favorites... it reminds me that God has placed his fingerprint on all of us.

I can see the tears filling Your eyes
And I know where they're coming from
They're coming from a heart that's broken in two
By what you don't see
The person in the mirror
Doesn't look like the magazine
Oh, but when I look at you it's clear to me that...

I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

Never has there been and never again
Will there be another you
Fashioned by God's hand
And perfectly planned
To be just who you are
And what He's been creating
Since the first beat of your heart
Is a living breathing priceless work of art and...

Just look at you
You're a wonder in the making
Oh, and God's not through, no
In fact, He's just getting started and…

I went back and see what it got me?

Last year was a horrible year for me and doctors. In the span of one year, I broke my wrist, spent 5 days in the hospital while I was in labor for 44 hours of that with my youngest son, had issues after his birth which required a lot of blood loss/tests and other tests, and then another 3 days in the hospital for an appendectomy. After all of this, I made a vow to stay away from doctors for one year.

I did it.

One year was two months ago. I went back to a doctor today.

I've been having problems with my foot lately and it's gotten progressively worse. Walking has become painful, so my husband insisted that I go to see a friend of ours who is a (podiatrist) surgeon.

Guess what? I have to have surgery... again.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. On one hand, I just wish I was done being broken. Saying that I'm tired of going to a doctor or having surgeries is truly an understatement. It seems as though I am the one who gets sick, gets injured, needs fixing. And there are people in my life who like to remind me of that. I don't ask for this. Believe me, if I could keep my body together and not have people cutting me open, cutting bones and screwing them back together, I would.

On the other hand, I'm glad that there is a resolution to my problem. Usually, (for the past decade or so) I have issues or pains and I am told that there is nothing wrong. We can't find anything wrong. I'm not crazy. I know that I have pain. And I feel as though I have a fairly high pain tolerance. For once, I was able to go to a doctor, present my problems and have a remedy the same day. Imagine that.

So, I'm waiting for my surgery date to come... it's a little more than a month away. I'm not scared, but I'm concerned for my mobility and ability to take care of my family. I won't be able to drive (it's my right foot) I was assured that I wouldn't be down for more than 3 days... hmm... we'll see about that.

The world according to M and E

According to my children...

It takes 2 gallons of salt, some cream, ice and vanilla to make ice cream.

If you add water to freeze dried ice cream, it will become real ice cream. The same can be said about steak.

Albert Einstein said it was illegal for a man to hit a woman.

Thomas Jefferson invented the lightbulb.

George Washington invented wooden teeth.

Abraham Lincoln chopped down a cherry tree.

I have never before been frightened about what my children were learning in public schools. Now, I'm a bit frightened about what they are NOT learning in school.

My kids are funny, though.

New Journey... update one.

Embarking on this new journey is tiring... but exhilarating. Day one, Mike and I went for a walk along our road. We started out our driveway, turned right and headed to the stop sign. We clocked the distance and found that we walked 2.3 miles round trip. Not too shabby for the first day. Later in the evening, after dinner was made and enjoyed, we loaded the kids on the bikes and we went for a ride. I'm pretty sure my heart was yelling at me and trying to explode. It's not easy to bike up hill dragging a bike trailer with a 28 pound toddler. I have to say that after we were back and the kids were in bed, I was feeling pretty good.

Today Mike and I went for our walk again. I don't think it felt as long and I enjoyed it a little but more. I'm hoping that this is the beginning of a habit that I'll keep up. I tend to start things and then let it fall by the wayside. I'm determined that this time will be different. This time I will win the fight.